I hate him
by lamiapupa
Summary: This is YAOI, a Naraku X Sesshoumaru fic. Very graphic, contains heaps of bondage material. Master and slave relationship and emotional angst.


"I hate him…"

**Warnings: ** Usual, yaoi, lemon, bondage, yada yada…

**Beggings: **This is IMPORTANT! If you've read any other works of mine (there aren't THAT many anyway…) you know what I'll ask here… YES! THAT'S IT!_**REVIEWS!!**_Very good people! Now, it's not just because this is a one-shot it doesn't deserve a review! So please kneels down … write SOMETHING! ANITHING! But write!! Ok… looks around and coughs hum… if you still DON'T write… you're a meanie… but thank you for reading anyway! . 

**I hate him…**

_I hate him…_

…

_I hate him with my every breath and I hate him to the core of my rotten soul…_

_I hate him but I keep coming back to him like an addiction… again and again… and more each time… and nothing he ever does seem to keep me from returning…_

_And that's why I hate myself too… and, there are some nights when I'm not even sure whom I hate the most… if it's him… or myself…_

I blink to banish the veil of thought that cover's my eyes. I can't let him see me this way… not now; not after we… no, this just make's me more vulnerable to him… Oh… and how I hate him!

I sense his presence and I know he's back even though I don't move to acknowledge his presence. His long black hair pools beside me as he sits down on the futon.

"You're not welcome here" I say sharply hoping he'll just leave, but not really, I know there's nothing I can say to frighten or even unsettle him.

"This is _my_ castle _dearest_. If anyone here has to feel unwelcome that's you, not me…" He answered sounding mildly amused, "and I'm not banishing you either…"

_Do I always amuse him like this? I know this is his territory, everything here belongs to him… __**including me**__… _ I try not to look at him as I fiercely suppress the urge to vomit.

_I'm his now… he has me… and _it's not like I've just realized that… but the thought always makes my skin crawl with revulsion… and excitement…

He reaches out with one slim hand, his fingers mesmerize me; they're so fine and strong at the same time. Like himself they pass the image of a deceiving frailness.

Those fingers stroke my face, once, twice, he's almost being gentle. I shudder and lean closer to him. _I really hate myself._

He laughs that little laugh of his, annoying as hell. It chills me to the bone sometimes and sometimes it doesn't.

"Dearest…" He whispers to my ear, pulling my slack body up and closer to him, "It's not over yet, is it?" His sharp nails dig painfully on my scalp as he lifts his hands to hold my face.

I'm staring directly at his eyes now, utterly lost inside twin pools of shimmering red, just like blood… human blood…

I shudder and he keeps whispering, "Yes…" I feel tiny fangs prying on the barely healed skin of my neck, "You haven't had enough yet…" His teeth break my skin and he starts sucking lightly at first, my black blood trailing sluggishly to stain his clothes, my clothes… His clothes that dress my body…

His gentle suckling goes down to my shoulder and I brace myself for the pain at the same time that I welcome it, his sharp fangs tear viciously at my skin and I gasp and sob trying to conceal my cries.

I feel his lips curling in a smile around my ruined skin and his warm tongue laps lustily cleaning white skin from the thick blackness of my demon blood. "Oh yes dearest… cry for me, let me hear your sobs… let me see your pain… let me break you, over and over and make you mine again…"

"Bastard" I murmur as he bites at pieces of my rapidly healing flesh.

"Yes I am, your point being?" He lifts his clear ruby spheres to meet my own yellow eyes, the blood trails from his chin and covers his full lips and I can't stop from hungrily lapping them clean; it's _my blood _after all.

"Oh…" I moan as his hands touch me, his nails trailing over my skin and marking my body until he reaches my hard erection. "Please…" I squirm in his hands as he squeezes me none too gently.

"Oh… You'll have me dearest… just be patient…"

His free hand lifted my chin and guided my mouth, pressing it to his, I opened it without hesitating. _I hate him_. His warm tongue invaded my mouth and stroked everywhere, grazing teeth, twisting and swirling with my own tongue, playing a little with my throat and my gag reflex, stealing me of my every breath.

Finally he releases me, only to lick fervently at my lips, not bothered by the saliva mingling and trailing down from my mouth on a glistening path. He bites my lower lip hard, and I feel the blood flowing once again from me directly to his waiting mouth.

His hand still squeezes my shaft mercilessly and I begin to show the first signs of climax. My breathing gets harder and I start moaning. I hate that… mostly because the only thing that comes from my lips is his name.

I've been lying on his lap passively all the while, but as the pleasure began to rise I find myself unable to hold my hands still, and that is a mistake, and I was going to pay.

As my hands twisted on his dark strands of hair and I started rubbing my body against his, he stopped all motion.

"No!" I whined shamelessly but after a moment tried to regain control over my ragged thoughts.

"Shh" He scolded, "Now that's a shame. We haven't even began and you've already lost it all _dearest_… and I was thinking about not having you tied down today…" he whispered cruelly, his fingers flexing and his eyes already looking for that damned box were he keep his _toys_, as he call them.

My eyes widened, "Oh please… don't…" I pleaded, "I'm sorry… Naraku, I didn't mean to, I…"

"Shut up!" He snapped. "You used your hands on me and that is not allowed unless I tell you to touch me! Are you _that_ reckless after me being away for just a while? Am I going to have to start your lessons all over again?"

He was shouting and I knew I was already shaking, _Oh my, what's he done to me? Why am I, Sesshoumaru, a proud, pure blood youkai listening to what this third class garbage has to say?_

His power brushed through me and I was pinned against the wall, my already loose yukata was torn to pieces and he made my legs spread wide, I gasped.

"Are you ashamed?" He approached me with one of his devious little toys already in hand, but I knew what was to come first. He turned me roughly to face the wall and my arms were pulled to my back and tied painfully tight, from elbow to wrist.

He kissed the fragment of the jewel on my left arm quickly before cutting thin lines on my wrists with his nails. The blood warmed the cold metal a bit and lubricated my arms movements.

He made me to face him again. "I think it's time to get you a new arm, isn't it _love? _This one is starting to root…" He observed the patch of skin were my severed arm joined the human arm he'd got me.

He'd been giving me different arms to work with since… since _this _started, but he prefers me to wear human arms for our… _encounters. _I don't know why I indulge him… _I hate him._

I didn't answer as his mouth covered mine again and probed lightly on the wound that had just started to heal, causing it to bleed again. His mouth trailed down to suck on my nipples even as he extended a tentacle to reach for one of his toys again.

The warm tongue played with my pierced nipple, the one I know he likes best, the one he hurts the most, the one with the tiny little ring hanging from it, the ring which carries a small pendant, a tiny spider.

He lets himself linger on it and his hands fumble with things such as a restraining ring for my swollen cock and a round gag for my mouth. I moan and cry out when the ring starts rolling to the base of my member. It's so tight, too tight…

"Hurts…" I whisper, tears gathering at the corners of my eyes.

"Shh… It's supposed to, love… Where's the fun if I'm not hurting you?" He smiled and kissed my tears away. _Oh god, the pressure in my cock is too much_… I started moving my legs and shifting weight desperately in an attempt to make it better.

"No, no… that won't do love, you'll have to be quiet…"

I almost screamed when I felt cold metal circling my ankles and spreading my legs painfully apart, I still couldn't move, his power was holding me against the wall.

He locked the cuffs and as I looked down I saw that the bar spreading my legs was impossibly long. I wouldn't be able to stand with it attached to me, "Son of a bitch!" I spat, "Release me, this is too much!" I screamed and felt more tears of pain and humiliation stinging my face.

His smug smile only widened at my words and he used my tantrum to shove the gag into my mouth and fasten it to my neck, then he released me from his power's hold and I fell, face first, to the floor, my legs spread and my ass high on the air.

"Delicious…" He whispered to my ear, his body framing me from upwards. He pulled my hair back and threw it all over my shoulder freeing his view of my back.

"Sometimes I think I should let you cut this mane of yours…" He mused, picking a white lock from the floor and rolling it between his fingers, "But then again, it would be a shame…" he said, kissing my hair tenderly before returning it to it's previous position.

"So my love, do you think we should start? You need your punishment yet; don't think I've only planned to tie you…" He laughed a little and I whimpered, the tears running freely down my face.

_Why did I touch him? _I kept repeating on my mind, _I know the rules, I'm his pet, I'm not allowed to touch without permission…_

He caressed my bare ass with one of his disgustingly slimy tentacles and I shuddered. _No! _I screamed in my mind, _Not this, it's too much…_

I shook my head desperately and he laughed again, positioning a hard paddle over my ass, almost touching the point were his tentacle played with my entrance. "Are you ready dearest?" He asked almost at the same time as the first smack hit my behind and my whole body moved forward due to lack of leverage.

"Hum… that won't do…" He complained, "With your arms bound to your back there's no way you can hold still to receive my blows…"

He was quiet for a bit and I could fell the stinging pain of the first blow. I knew better then to hope for him to stop; after all, he'd done this countless times before.

"My body is quite useful don't you think?" He came to face me and smiled and I felt his hands pulling my face to rest on his lap. My belly clenched.

"Now, I'm sorry for the delay, we should start… about now" And, as he spoke I felt the paddle hit my buttocks again, full force. He was using his tentacles, no doubt.

I was trying to control my sobs when I felt him tugging at my face again, he tilted it up and opened his hakama, making me face his hard member and brushing it all over my face, marking me with his scent.

The gag he'd put on me was one very special gag and it made it possible for me to suck him even without removing the gadget. He roughly forced his member through the round opening in the middle of the gag and I could taste him in my mouth. Moving my tongue around him and sucking was much harder with the _toy_ hampering me, but we had done this before and I was already used to it.

"Hum…" He moaned and started rocking his hips. Almost at the same time as we set a rhythm to his sucking, came the probing of the waiting tentacle at my entrance. I tried to moan, but my mouth was undoubtedly full.

The hard beating had already almost numbed my ass cheeks and soon enough I was being deeply ass fucked by two of his tentacles and mouth fucked by his gorgeous erection. I wanted to come… badly, but the ring strangling my cock wouldn't allow me and I kept crying and sobbing in earnest.

_I hate him. I hate him because he knows just how much I like this, how much I need the humiliation, the rules, the beating and the hard fucking… I need him to break me every time I come here, and I come as often as I can… It's been years now._

_I'm not sure if we're lovers… if he accepts other demons in his bed others than myself… but since the first time he spanked me, since the first time he raped me and spilled his seed deep inside my bowels… I became his. And that's what I am… Naraku's toy…his fucking whore… and I like it._

_And I like it, and I hate him… and I hate me…_

_He's going to come. He has to make his mind fast, either his going to come on my mouth and face or his going to come inside me. Personally, I'd prefer him to come inside me, it marks me better it makes me his property. I like that… and I hate him…_

He pulls quickly from my mouth and removes his tentacles from my ass and I whimper, _Don't leave me empty for long…_

Suddenly he stops the paddle and I feel one more loss, its almost unbearable, without any pain to endure, without any pleasure… My shoulder is bleeding profusely from my rocking on the floor and I am lying on a puddle of my own blood, not that I care.

I feel his engorged member slam into me without a second of hesitation and I'm sure my ass must be raw from the impact. He hovers just above me and removes the gag, swiftly tossing it aside.

"Scream for me love!" He orders in the throws of passion, "Scream!" He laughs as he slams again and again into my ass; pressing me hard to the floor and making me scrap my shoulders on the wood.

I shamelessly oblige, screaming and shouting for him, letting my passion rise and mingle with the searing pain in my body. I keep crying until I beg him to remove the ring from my cock.

"Whom do you belong to?" He asks caressing the metal and pulling it up just a bit.

"You!" I scream, my shoulders shake with the force of my anguished sobs, "You, I'm yours…" I cry, "Only yours…"

I can't see his face but I feel him smiling against my severed shoulder, his long fingers remove the ring and he finally looses himself to lust. He looses all resemblance to a rhythm, just slamming in and out of me viciously and crying and moaning louder and louder.

The wet slap of flesh against flesh, the mingling scent of sweat, the blood dripping from my legs, my shoulder, my mouth… I can't take it anymore… it's too much pain… to much pleasure…

I shout his name and come endlessly, making the mess of fluids around us only worse. I try to close my eyes for a moment but Naraku is still away from his own climax and he won't let me sleep until he's finished with me.

The pleasure is being slowly washed away be the pain he's causing me, my channel already feels like it might give anytime and the sheer force of his thrusts is enough to ripe me into two.

I start crying and fresh sobs bubble from my throat as he keeps going, "Naraku… please…" I plead, lowering my head to the floor to hide my shame.

He laughs again and, as he's laughing he comes, "Yes, yes, my love…" He keeps pumping a few more times, "My toy… my little doll… let me break you! Let me break the great Sesshoumaru-sama!"

I shudder and he finally stops moving, his hands circle my waist possessively and he doesn't pull out of me just yet, resting his weight over my tired legs.

"Now, who do you belong to my dear?" He pets my head affectionately and bites my ear drawing a little blood.

I sigh but remain quiet otherwise, _I'm not going to answer this now… not now that I'm not being driven by waves of lust anymore…_

His tongue trails a gentle path on my spine and I feel filthy and in sudden need of a bath. "Answer me…" He demands, tightening his grip on my waist. "Answer me!" He shouts; turning me to face him, pulling out of me and hurting my bound arms badly, I wince.

He slaps me on the face, one, two, ten times and I start crying again, not able to endure the look of displeasure in his eyes anymore, not able to fake indifference, I'm so damned…

"You…" I whisper brokenly and he stops the slapping.

"Who?" He demands again straddling my hips and kneeling over me.

"You do Naraku… you own me" I answer again and finally he smiles. I feel relieved and tears wash my face once again.

I try to dislodge him from me but he remains still. "I think I'll have to teach you to answer properly when asked, my dear…"

My eyes widen and my body starts shaking, "No!" I whisper, enough, please… please… I cant… If I go back with more bruises I won't be able to conceal them from Rin and…"

"Well… I don't thing I want you to be able to conceal them anymore dearest… I think it's time I publicly lay my claim on you Sesshoumaru-sama…"

"What? No! You can't do that!" I shook my head desperately.

"No? Why not? Do you think you're in position to fight? You can't break those bonds you know… they were reinforced specially for you…" He smiled slyly.

"No!" I screamed… _and I screamed a lot that night, I lost my voice for almost a month afterwards… Not that it mattered, I wasn't able to get out of bed for a month and a half, and even know my back still hurts a little._

_I don't know if that's due to the increasing time he makes me spend on bondages… he's always inventing knew ways to fuck me, each one more shameful and deliciously painful than the other. _

_I thought becoming his whore publicly would crush my reputation… it probably did but people are too much afraid of him to say anything about any one of his protégées, specially myself._

_I thought life with him would be much worse, but actually it's not so bad. I have Rin to keep me company, she's grown a lot since I first met her and I'm sure she'll be taken away to become someone else's whore soon. As for me, I am Naraku's. I have enough marks on my body capable of showing you that, and I'm not talking about the leash he makes me wear._

_The spider on my back, the one he drew and carved himself in my flesh, that's enough to tell anyone who dares to come close to me to back of. It's not that bad… really. I'd been searching for the one to break me for centuries… life gets boring after a while if it's just you and yourself…_

_Naraku was the one to do the job. He broke me, he crushed my every bit and he made me his, inside and out. Even if I didn't have any marks I'd have to admit to that._

_I am his… and life is not as bad as it could be… and between all the loathing and hate… I found out that I also love him…_

…

_And I hate him for that…_

**OWARI**


End file.
